Are you ready for this week’s absurdity? Here’s our Friday roll-up of the most ridiculous stories from around the world that are threats to your liberty, risks to your prosperity… and on occasion, inspiring poetic justice.
“A man cannot get pregnant” is hate speech on Twitter
A Spanish politician was suspended from Twitter and forced to delete a Tweet which read:
′′A man cannot get pregnant. A man has no womb or eggs.”
He was responding to an article which states that a man had given birth.
But according to Twitter, this violated rules against “threatening, harassing or fostering violence against other people on the basis of their race, ethnic origin, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religion, age, disability or disease.”
In response the politician said, “You can see this is already fascist biology. Next time I’ll try 2 + 2 = 4.”
But as we know, 2 + 2 = 4 is racist.
Want to attend prom? Pay the un-vaxxed tax.
A high school in Michigan released a poster advertising the end of year events for the graduating class of 2021.
The poster advertises Prom: “Fully Vaccinated: Free. Not Vaccinated/ Guest: $80.”
Responding to a parental complaint, the Superintendent said “It’s not a violation of the law as we are not requiring individuals to receive the vaccine nor are we prohibiting those without a vaccine from attending.”
London Train Company Apologizes for saying “Ladies and Gentlemen”
A friendly jovial train conductor greeted his train passengers saying, “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.”
This was offensive to a passenger called Laurence who identifies as non-binary. So naturally, they Tweeted they’s complaint to the world.
“So as a non-binary person this announcement doesn’t actually apply to me so I won’t listen.”
The company groveled and apologized:
“I’m really sorry to see this, Laurence, our Train Managers should not be using language like this, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention, Please could you let me know which service you are on and I will ensure they remain as inclusive as we strive to be at LNER.”
Sensibility prevails again!
The number 3 is racist
A Facebook group for former Jeopardy! contestants erupted in uproar when they saw a contestant flash three fingers on screen.
They concluded it must have been a secret white supremacist hand signal. And when they looked at his Facebook profile, they found the smoking gun: the contestant wearing a MAGA (Make America Great Again) hat.
500 of these allegedly intelligent individuals signed a letter demanding Jeopardy! account for why the clip wasn’t edited out. Then they alerted the Anti-Defamation League.
Back in reality, the contestant flashed three fingers as the announcer said he won his THIRD round of Jeopardy!. He had flashed one finger after his first win, and two after his second win.
The Anti-Defamation League also concluded this was not a secret signal to show support for white supremacy.
But some former contestants are not convinced.
They say Jeopardy! should still police and remove clips of hand gestures, just in case.
Scientists admit to unethical fear-mongering over Covid-19
The Scientific Pandemic Influenza Group on Behaviour (SPI-B) advises the UK government on the best course of action to take during pandemics.
Scientists in the group now admit that they acted unethically last March, when they pushed the government to induce undue levels of fear in the population.
At the time they advised that “a substantial number of people still do not feel sufficiently personally threatened” by Covid-19, and therefore the government should increase “the perceived level of personal threat.”
Now a psychologist on the team says, “Clearly, using fear as a means of control is not ethical. Using fear smacks of totalitarianism. It’s not an ethical stance for any modern government.”
Another said in the early stages of the pandemic, “there were discussions about fear being needed to encourage compliance, and decisions were made about how to ramp up the fear. The way we have used fear is dystopian.”
Another was “stunned by the weaponisation of behavioural psychology… psychologists didn’t seem to notice when it stopped being altruistic and became manipulative. They have too much power and it intoxicates them.”
Yet another member of the group said, “people use the pandemic to grab power and drive through things that wouldn’t happen otherwise… We have to be very careful about the authoritarianism that is creeping in.”
So will the government listen to the scientists this time?
Mayor of Chicago no longer talking to white journalists
To celebrate two years in office, the Mayor of Chicago, Lori Lightfoot, decided that from now on she “will be exclusively providing one-on-one interviews with journalists of color.”
So, white journalists are cut off from interviewing the mayor, asking her questions, and holding her accountable for the decisions she makes.
Racism and exclusion are now official government policy in Chicago. But naturally it’s all because of diversity and inclusion.